Note to self: Never underestimate the power of a Canadian goose. Today, I went for a run just outside our neighborhood, enjoying the fresh air and beautiful scenery. It was all going well until I spotted a random Canadian goose up ahead. Now, I’ve always thought of these birds as cute, harmless creatures. They waddle around and make funny noises, right? Wrong. Oh, so wrong. As I got closer, I realized quickly that the bird was not in the mood for friendly chit-chat. In fact, it looked positively menacing, like it was plotting something. But being the fearless (or foolish) person that I am, I decided to keep going and run past it.
The next thing I knew, it’s hissing, charging towards me, wings flapping, neck extended, and honking like a maniac. I didn’t even have time to react before it was flying right up at me, trying to peck and give twister pinches with its beak. I had no choice but to run for my life. Now, I’m not exactly an Olympic sprinter, but I tell you what, I think I set a new personal best for the 100-meter dash. An innocent run outside turned instantly into an intense bird attack/survival situation. Definitely a harrowing experience, but I’m proud to say I made it out alive (laughing at myself while gasping for breath and shaking with adrenaline).
Lesson learned: Never underestimate the power of a Canadian goose. Those things may look cute, but they can be crazier than a squirrel on espresso. And if you ever find yourself randomly being chased by one, just remember to run like you’re being chased by a swarm of bees with anger management issues. Because, let’s face it, geese can basically be winged attack dogs with feathers.