It all began innocently enough when my offspring, armed with their adorable puppy eyes, begged for a trampoline in our backyard. “Piece of cake!” I thought, picturing myself being a first time trampoline assembler extraordinaire. Little did I know what I was really getting myself into.
Eventually 3 gargantuan boxes that felt like they were full of misplaced bowling balls arrived. Despite being extremely busy at work & having other family commitments, the brochure pictures carried promises of fun & laughter for my kids that kept pulling me into getting this jumping contraption put together sooner than later. So in my attempts of being a courageous dad, I decided to boldly accept the challenge to assemble this monstrosity ALL BY MYSELF with the limited time I had in the mornings before work.
The 1st day as I opened the boxes, thousands of pieces stared back at me, mocking my naive optimism. “It takes 2 people, only 3 hours to assemble!” the manual cheerfully proclaimed. Well, I scoffed at that, who needs 2 or 3 people when you have the tenacity of a thousand men? Undeterred by the daunting task ahead, I embarked on my journey, toolbox in hand & pumped with determination. The first day was a breeze. I organized the pieces, surveyed the instructions, & indulged in a cup of victory coffee. “This is going to be a cinch,” I thought. But little did I know how quickly I’d become the reigning champion of misguided confidence.
The next day arrived & I eventually found myself grunting in utter exhaustion while wrestling with fiberglass poles, trying to apply constant death grips to tighten stripped screws, & using my ‘Kung Fu Mosquito Defense’ skills on a cloud of tiny tormentors that had declared war on me. The trampoline’s frame turned into a Rubik’s cube of terror, & my sanity began to teeter on the edge. One man against an army of small white fiberglass poles. It became a true battle that ended up consisting of improbable body contortions while trying not to loose a tooth or permanently damage a finger in the process.
With each passing day my enthusiasm waned & my muscles screamed for mercy. The assembly process escalated to my ‘maximum level of adulting’ when I found myself trying to finish the project while squatting underneath the partially assembled trampoline… only to quit in angry frustration AFTER getting sprayed directly in the face with our lawn sprinkler system randomly going off. It was like the new trampoline didn’t want to be assembled & the situation was specifically designed to create my maximum level of irritation, beckoning a volcanic eruption of expletives & a symphony of unintelligible rants.
But the true highlight of this epic journey actually occurred on the 4th day while I bravely attempted to install the final mini fiberglass poles that required an absolute Herculean effort to fit into place. I realized their was only one way this jumping playpin from hell could be completed & where I could safely escape the agony of assembly of this expensive jumping contraption. I had to swallow my pride & ask my wife for help.
Shortly thereafter, the project was finished & the kids were jumping in ecstasy. Was it worth it? Absolutely! The sight of my kids playing & laughing with friends as they bounce on the trampoline erased the misfortune marathon of putting it all together. Was it easy? Absolutely not! If you dare to tread the treacherous path of trampoline assembly alone, be prepared to ask for help. The experience will test your patience & your sanity. But in the end, the victory will be more dazzling than Bob Villa performing acrobatic feats while juggling circular saws & screwdrivers.
There are numerous valuable life lessons that could be gleaned from this experience. However, on this Father’s Day, what stands out to me is this: Dads might not always get it right, but they make tremendous sacrifices & sometimes undertake extraordinary (ridiculous) acts to ensure the well-being of their children. I express my gratitude to all the other dads out there who strive to offer their kids with better opportunities & adventures. You will always truly be their heroes! Stay strong & remember your unwavering support & encouragement to your kids fuels their dreams & aspirations. It reminds them that they can achieve anything… especially with mom’s help!
Ahoy, my fellow adventurers! I want to talk about something near and dear to everyone’s heart: A ships’s rudder. Yes, that’s right, that very small unassuming piece of a boat that’s often overlooked and undervalued. I know it’s not the glamorous, sexy part of a boat but it’s the AMAZING unsung hero of any functioning water vessel (and probably deserves its own action movie franchise). Without a rudder, a ship is directionless, adrift, and arguably worthless. But with it, a ship can stay its course even in the face of strong winds and turbulent waters. 
